Jára Cimrman
A genius who did not become famous
Jára Cimrman was one of the greatest Czech playwrights, poets, composers, teachers, travellers, philosophers, inventors, detectives, mathematicians, and sportsmen of the 19th and early 20th century.
Thanks to the registrar of the IV. Viennese parish Franz Huschk, who made most of the records while drunk, we can still not say with certainty whether Marlen Jelinkova Cimrmanova, an Austrian actress, and Leopold Cimrman, a Czech tailor working in Vienna, had a son on a frosty February night in 1856, 1864, 1868 or 1883. The registrar's uncertain manuscript also admits 1884.
Of possible Jewish heritage, Cimrman's name was originally spelled "Zimrman", as the German last name "Zimmermann", and he changed it later on as a mark of his Czech patriotism.
Cimrman attended Czech and German schools in Vienna, and continued his studies in Prague.
Due to the family's poverty, Cimrman's parents dressed him in second-hand clothes from his sister Luisa, and sent him to a girls' school, hiding his identity from him. When he discovered the truth aged 15, it triggered an identity crisis but it is also said to have been the moment when his genius emerged.
No pictures of Cimrman are said to have been found and so his appearance is unknown.
As mentioned in his plays, some of Jára Cimrman's achievements and contributions include:
- He proposed the Panama Canal to the U.S. government, while composing a libretto for an opera of the same name.
- With Count Zeppelin he constructed the first rigid airship using Swedish steel and Czech wicker (the wicker being for the cabin).
- He conducted investigations into the life of cannibalistic tribes in the Arctic; and once, while running away from the furious tribe, he missed the North Pole by just seven meters, thus almost becoming the first human reaching the North Pole.
- In Vienna he established the school of criminology, music and ballet.
- He corresponded with George Bernard Shaw for many years, without response.
- He invented yogurt.
- He helped many great scientists: He carried on his own back the 45 tubs of pitchblende to the basement of Pierre and Marie Curie, he assisted Prof. Burian with his first plastic surgery, he reworked the electrical contact on Thomas Edison's first light bulb, and he found an sublet for Gustave Eiffel.
- He advised Mendeleev, after seeing the first draft, that the Periodic Table should be rotated to its current orientation.
- It is said that when Graham Bell invented his telephone, he found 3 missed calls from Jára Cimrman upon making his first connection.
Yes, Jára Cimrman is a fictional personality, created by Ladislav Smoljak, Jiří Šebánek and Zdeněk Svěrák. Although the character was originally meant to be just a modest caricature of the Czech people, history, and culture, he became an immensely popular protagonist of modern Czech folklore, and an ersatz national hero. In 2005, Jára Cimrman won a public vote to find The Greatest Czech (only the fact that he is fictional prevented him from actually winning).
Cimrman is both the major character and the putative author of a great number of books, plays, and films. Jára Cimrman Theatre in Žižkov is one of Prague's most frequented theatre houses.